


A Royal Engagement

by tbmd1066



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Princess Diaries 2, Explicit Language, Multi, brief mentions of eremin, cameos by real people lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5202881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbmd1066/pseuds/tbmd1066
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Princess Zoë is finally ready to inherit the throne from her brother-in-law regent, until she finds out that there's a catch.<br/>Within a month, she has to find a husband to rule with, or she loses the throne.<br/>Can Hange pull it all together in time? And if not, what will happen?</p><p>Abandoned in chapter 12 with notes on remaining unfinished work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthday Parties are a Jolly Good Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Hange (bit belated by like three months but w/e)

“Princess Zoë.” Hange woke with a start.

“Wha-” 

“Look out the window,” Mike instructed. “And welcome back to Sina.” Hange rubbed under her glasses and peered out of the window. 

“Oh, there it is,” Hange smiled at the sprawling greens surrounding the small European village. She’d been to DC before once on March break in sixth grade, and while that had been spectacular, she had to say that she found the quaint capital of Sina infinitely more interesting. “Ah, I’m so excited!” she said, and turned to Mike. “Are you excited to be heading back, Mike?”

The tall head of security tilted his head and twitched his moustache. “Of course I am.” he said. “There are many people I’ve been missing while we were away.” 

“Oh yeah?” Hange asked with a smirk. “Anyone specific?” 

Mike narrowed his eyes at Hange, which was difficult to spot under his fringe. “I’ve missed Nanaba. They’re a rad fucking person.”

Hange laughed. “Alright, sure.” she picked up her cat. “What about you, Bean? Who have you missed?”

Bean meowed.

“Sawney? I thought you didn’t like Sawney.”

Bean meowed.

“Well, alright. I missed Sawney too.”

“Princess Zoë,” Mike interrupted. “Far be it from me to judge anyone for talking to their cat, but we’re about to land. You should probably put Bean back in his carrier.”

“Oh, yeah, shoot. Thanks, Mike!”

“No problem.” 

Hange stuffed a disgruntled Bean back into his travel carrier and sat straight up to watch the plane land. 

 

* * *

 

“The king is coming.” Nanaba informed Mike. Hange fidgeted with the hem of her glove. 

“Excellent.” Mike answered. “We’re running a little behind schedule.”

“Well, he’ll be here in a minute, and he'll have a double-door entrance.” Nanaba instructed the footmen.

“Yes, ma’am.” they answered with a salute. 

Nearly on cue, King Erwin rounded the corner with a smile. He was dressed to the nines for this formal event, in military dress uniform, with his signature, if slightly unorthodox bolo tie, and right sleeve pinned just beneath his medals.

“Well, don’t you look fancy.” Mike grinned. “But you're late, Your Majesty.”

“Are you quite sure it’s not that everyone else is simply early, Mike?” King Erwin asked, handing him a glass of champagne.

“Sure.” he laughed. “Have it your way.” Hange tried not to react to Mike’s flirting. And he had said he missed _Nanaba_ most.

The footmen opened the door, and the announcer cleared his throat. “His Majesty, Erwin Smith Mitras, King of Sina.” Erwin walked through the doors with a cheery fanfare and a smile.

“Greetings, everyone.” he began in a loud, clear voice. “I am delighted to welcome you here this evening. Today is a special occasion for our country. As you all know, for the last five years, since the death of Queen Marie, I have been acting as regent in place of Princess Zoë, until she reached an age where she could take the throne. Today, our Princess has reached that age, and I am certain that we all look forward to her soon becoming the leader of our nation. Will you please raise your glasses in celebration of Princess Zoë's twenty-first birthday.” Hange gulped nervously. That wasn’t a lot to live up to, or anything, of course. Erwin raised his glass. “To Princess Zoë.”

“To Princess Zoë.” the crowd echoed.

The announcer cleared his throat again. “Presenting Her Royal Highness, Zoë Epistími Hange Mitras, Princess of Sina.”

Hange stepped forward into the brightly lit entry hall, smiling broadly at the crowd of dignitaries. She waved, hoping that her nervousness didn’t show too much. Then, as she brought her hand back in a wave, she felt her bracelet go flying off of her wrist, and she just barely stopped herself from saying “shit” out loud, in front of everyone. Thank God, one of the footmen had caught it. He approached her with a smile.

“Don’t worry. It happens all the time.”

“Really?” Hange asked.

He shook his head. “But, happy birthday.”

Hange could feel her blush. “Thank you.” she said.

The band struck up a chord as she descended the stairs, and began to play a waltz. Hange looked around the large room for a dance partner. Tonight was the night that she was supposed to become acquainted with all of the members of parliament, but she suspected that wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded...

 

 

“初めまして。オレは小菅スイです。どうぞよろしくお願いします。” her first dance partner bowed slightly.

“Oh, I don't speak Japanese.” Hange said, but he took her hand anyways.

“あなたの目は美しいです！”

“And you obviously don't speak English.” She supposed that meant he wasn’t a member of parliament, then...

“これは照れ臭いのダンスです。”

Her next dance partner didn’t know how to waltz at all, and counted out loud the entire time instead of making conversation. The partner after that stepped on her foot multiple times. The next partner was Prime Minister Isayama, who thankfully was a pretty good dancer. They already knew each other, though, so there was still most of parliament left to dance with. Hange sighed and wandered towards the edge of the room for a breather. She eyed the food on the table, and was about to go over and try some when someone tapped her on the shoulder. Hange tried not to groan. She was really not ready to get back to dancing.

“Princess Zoë?” 

Hange recognised the voice, and whirled around with a smile. “Mikasa?”

Mikasa gave a small smile back, and tucked a strand of long black hair behind her ear. “I noticed you dancing with Lord Shadis.” she deadpanned. “Though he looked less like he was dancing and more like he was trying to flag down some kind of emergency aircraft.”

Hange laughed. “Oh, I've missed you! What have you been up to?” Hange asked.

“I stabbed a man last week.” Mikasa said, examining her fingernails. Hange wasn’t entirely sure _what_ Mikasa’s job was. She wasn’t a dignitary, and she wasn’t a member of Sina’s army, but somehow the young woman was present at every formal event that Hange had ever been to. Still, whatever Mikasa’s job was, Hange appreciated her deadpan sense of humour.

“Ooh, that sounds fun-eh?” Hange stumbled as she stepped on something small and hard. She turned abruptly to look at a young man grimacing in pain.

“Oh shi-um, shoot, was that your foot? I'm so sorry! Are you okay?”

“I'll survive, Your Highness.” the man said stiffly.

“Then you’re uh, not going to bill the government for the damages?” Hange laughed awkwardly.

“No, no. These shoes were a little big anyway. The swelling should help them fit better.”

Hange wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. “Can I get you some ice or something?”

“No, really, I’m fine.” the man said, holding up a hand to ward off her advances. “See you.” he said, and slipped away into the crowd.

“Nice job, Zoë.” Mikasa said. Hange groaned.

“Do you think his shoes were expensive?”

“I don’t know.” Mikasa shrugged. She looked around the room carefully. “You should get back to dancing pretty soon.” she reminded Hange.

Hange sighed. Mikasa was probably right. “Well, wish me luck.”

 

* * *

 

Whether or not Mikasa had wished Hange luck, she didn’t get any. The next several dance partners were fairly horrible at one thing or another, be it dancing or conversation. Only a handful were somewhat decent, and the one she was currently dancing with was not one of them.

“Of course, there is rather a lot of controversy over whether the harbour trade between us and Sweden is entirely a good idea.” Lord Dawk droned on.

Hange nodded, trying to seem interested, since she was fairly sure that it was a relevant current issue that she had heard Mike talking about earlier. Something about “Bloody fucking viking bastards with their stupid fish fucks.” ...Mike had surprisingly strong political opinions when he was intoxicated, Hange thought.

“May l?”

Hange was actually relieved to see the shorter young man from earlier. 

“Your timing is impeccable. Thank you.” Hange said to the man as she took his arm.

“No problem. I’m pretty sure Lord Dawk is a brony.”

Hange snorted ungracefully as she tried to suppress her laughter. “Are you serious?”

“Maybe.” the man said. His straight face certainly didn’t indicate that he was joking.

“Well, I imagine you know my name. What’s yours?”

“Levi.” he said. “Just Levi. Hardly compares to Zoë Epis-um, Epist-”

“Epistími. It’s Greek.”

“Right, Zoë Epistími Hange Mitras. That’s quite the mouthful, Princess.”

Hange nodded. “Well, then, call me Hange.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Not Zoë?”

Hange shook her head. “Nah, no one ever called me that growing up, anyways. Except my mother, I suppose. Unless it’s her, Zoë just sounds so strange.”

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, Princess Hange.”

Hange laughed. “You know, I'm glad to see that my clumsiness hasn't affected your dancing.” He was the best she’d danced with all night. He moved with a gracefulness she hadn’t expected from his curt nature. 

“It really wasn’t that bad. You’re a better dancer than I thought you’d be.”

“Oh?”

“I did worry that you might step on my feet more.”

“Aww.” Hange laughed. “Not quite the reputation I’m looking to push.”

“Well, you know, if bad dancing is the worst someone might say about you, that’s pretty good.” Levi pointed out. “And you’re not even a bad dancer. A bit clumsy, maybe.”

“I’m not that clumsy!” Hange argued. “You snuck up behind me.”

“Really? Because just a second ago, I could have sworn you admitted to being clumsy.”

Hange narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, that was when I was trying to be polite.”

Levi seemed amused by this, although it was hard to tell. Hange was sorry to hear the waltz end, but she pulled her hands from Levi’s and clapped with everyone else. 

“May I cut in?” Lord Dawk asked with a slight bow as the band started back up.

“Go fuck a unicorn.” Levi said, and swept Hange away. 

“I don’t think you can say that sort of thing to dignitaries.” Hange said, after she finished cackling.

“You can. I just did.”

“Oh my God.” Hange laughed. She liked this rude little man. She definitely liked him.

 

* * *

 

“Princess,” Nanaba said. “There's someone from parliament you should meet.”

Hange groaned. “Nanaba, how many members of parliament are there?”

Nanaba smiled sympathetically. “Only two left, Your Highness.”

“Alright.” Hange tried to resist the urge to rub her eyes, since it only ever made her contacts shift weirdly. Nanaba pointed her off to the left, and Hange turned, only to violently bump into another stranger. Another. Again. Her tiara had fallen off as well.

“Oh, dear!” Hange said, although she was feeling something a hell of a lot stronger than “dear.”

“Oh, Your Highness, pardon me.” the man said. 

“I am so sorry!” Hange began. 

“It was only an accident.” the man said. His English was good, Hange thought, he almost sounded American. “It's fine.” he handed her back the tiara.

“Thank you so much.” Hange smiled, still feeling awkward as she put it back on.

“You should be more careful, Your Royal Highness.” the man said. “Somebody might try to take that away from you.”

“Oh, I hope not! But thank you so much for all your help.” she could feel herself blushing, and at this point, just wanted the party to be over. As she walked away from the man, who now that she was thinking about it, she might have danced with earlier, she thought she heard him say something.

“Someone like me.”

Hange shrugged to herself, and paid it no mind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my first time writing Mike/Erwin, and I really don't know it well at all. If any of you guys have any ideas for me, PLEASE share, it's super welcome!!


	2. What Are You? Fucking Republicans?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A serious problem arises.

Hange stirred an excessive amount of sugar into her morning tea. The September sun shone bright. It was still early enough in the month that it was hot out, and the leaves weren’t turning yet. It wasn’t quite autumn, but the sun had already taken on a different golden quality that made it feel cozier and later in the day than it really was. 

“Excuse me, miss?” someone asks. She turns to see two young servants standing to attention, both with bright smiles. 

“Oh, uh, can I help you?”

The girl with long brown hair smiles, and Hange notices that she’s missing a canine, despite looking to be about seventeen. “I’m Sasha, if it pleases you.” she said, and saluted. “At your service.”

“And I'm Conny, Miss.” the boy said, also saluting.

“Sasha, and Connie, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Hange.” she said with an awkward wave. “And, please, you don't… Don't bow like that.”

“Not like this?” Conny asked. “How do you like it, then?”

“Like this, maybe?” Sasha suggested, and curtsied, which Conny copied, before correcting it to a deep bow, which enabled Hange to see the top of his shaved head.

“No, no, no, I didn't mean, like, you know… oh.” Conny and Sasha continued to bow. “No, no, not that way. I didn't mean it, um…” Hange trailed off as Nanaba entered the room with Erwin’s border collie, Sawney. 

“The king bids you good morning, Princess. He's in session with parliament.”

Hange nodded. “Oh, okay.”

Nanaba glanced at Conny and Sasha with a slight frown. “I see you've met your servants.”

“Yeah. Um… How do you turn off the curtsies?”

Nanaba rolled their eyes. “Knock that off and go do something productive.” Sasha and Conny both saluted briefly and scampered out the door, with Conny pausing briefly to pet Sawney. Nanaba sighed. “Honestly, they’re not that stupid, they’re just messing with you.” Hange thought they might have muttered a soft “I hope” under their breath, but she ignored it. 

Hange laughed. “Good to know.”

“His Majesty will meet you in one hour at the throne room.” Nanaba informed her. 

Hange took a sip of warm tea. “Okay.”

Nanaba smiled apologetically. “I'm sorry your suite isn't ready yet, but you're welcome to stay here until-”

“No, no, no, no, it's fine.” Hange assured them. The guest suite that she was staying in currently was beyond lavish. “Hey, can I explore the palace a little bit?” Hange asked.

Nanaba nodded. “Of course.” they said. Sawney barked. 

Hange grinned at the dog. “Aw, you wanna come with me, Sawney?”

Sawney wagged his tail, and Hange set down her tea to pet the dog. Bean would be jealous later, but it was worth it. Nanaba handed her Sawney’s leash.

“You can take him with you, but remember, the throne room, in an hour.”

“Okay!” Hange sang.

 

* * *

 

“The parliament of Sina is in session. Prime Minister Isayama presiding.”

Prime Minister Isayama cleared his throat. “Viscount Ackerman, you have the floor.”

“Monsieur Ackerman, bitte.” the typist nodded. 

Kenny Ackerman cleared his throat. ‘As we all know, the 21st birthday of an heir to the Genovian bloodline is indeed a matter of great public significance.” he drawled. “It signifies that this young person is eligible to assume the crown.”

“Indeed, we are well aware of this, Viscount.” Lord Dawk said, narrowing his eyes. “King Erwin has already indicated that Princess Zoë intends to learn more at his side before assuming the throne.”

Viscount Ackerman smiled slightly. “It was not Princess Zoë to whom I was referring.”

 

* * *

 

Hange turned the corner and was greeted with the sight of a shadowy hallway. “Ooh…” she crooned softly. “Hey, Sawney, you want to check this out?”

Sawney wagged his tail and they continued down the dark hallway. It didn’t look as if anyone had been down here in years. Hange ducked under an impressive spiderweb.

“Nice.” she grinned. She wondered if this was really just an abandoned hallway, or if she might be about to find a secret passageway of some sort. “Come on, Sawney.” 

Sawney followed her happily enough until she reached the end of the hallway. 

“Huh,” she said to the dog. “Nothing here but the spiders, I guess.” Although that wasn’t entirely true. Most of the palace had a more modern look to it, with fresh clean marble and glass. Not only was this deep hallway dirty, it seemed to be made of a much older, rougher kind of stone. Sandstone, perhaps? Hange brushed her fingers lightly over the dusty crucifix on the wall, and was surprised when it turned easily. There was a loud scraping noise from behind her and she whirled around to see…

“A secret passageway! Sawney! It’s a secret passageway!” Hange went to go through, but Sawney sat down, and she could tell he didn’t want to go in the creepy narrow tunnel. “Aww, Sawney, it’s okay.” she said, rubbing the nervous dog’s back. She glanced back at the tunnel. “It should be safe. Come on, it’s not every day you find a secret door. Let’s see where it goes, eh?” she led the dog, who was still fairly reluctant, down the secret passageway. It was too dark too see much of anything down there, but Hange wasn’t at all frightened. 

There was a dim light coming from around a corner, so Hange and Sawney headed towards that. Set into the wall was a small grille, behind which Hange could hear muffled voices. She slid it open a little further, ignoring the shrill squeak, and peered through. 

“As of the 25th of December last year, on the occasion of his 21st birthday, another citizen of the royal bloodline became eligible to assume the throne.” 

“What?” Hange hissed. She could just barely see the man who was speaking. He was tall and thin, but he wasn’t facing her. She looked around the rest of the room, this was parliament! Erwin was sitting at the far end of the room. The man speaking turned, he was the one she’d bumped into at the party the night before! A sick feeling rose in Hange’s stomach. What was it that she’d nearly heard him say?  

“My nephew, Lord Ackerman.” he finished. Lord Ackerman… the name wasn’t familiar. Had she met him at the party?

“I beg your pardon?” Erwin asked coldly.

“My nephew’s great-great-great grandfather, on his father’s side, was King Wilhelm IV.” This information inspired rather a lot of chatter from everyone in the room. Hange knew that King Wilhelm had been the last monarch before the Mitras line took the throne. If this Lord Ackerman _was_ really a direct descendant of King Wilhelm IV, then his claim would be valid.

“Therefore, Your Majesty,” the man sneered. “I am pleased to say that my nephew is ready to take his place as Sina's rightful king.”

“What the fuck?” 

If the news hadn’t been so horrifying, Hange would have laughed at Erwin slipping out of professionalism so carelessly.

“I beg your pardon?” asked Kenny, looking quite offended, which Hange was almost willing to admit was fair.

“Ah, um,” Erwin cleared his throat. “My apologies.” 

“It’s irrelevant. Princess Zoë first in line to ascend the throne.” Lord Shadis stated.

“Not yet.” Lord Zackley interjected. Hange had never liked Zackley. She narrowed her eyes at the seedy old man. “Genovian law states that a princess must marry before she can take the throne.”

“We have never enforced that law!” Erwin cried. “A man doesn't have to marry to be king. For God’s sake, this is the 21st century. My sister-in-law should be given the same rights as any man.”

Hange nodded vehemently.

“Genovia shall have no queen lest she be bound in matrimony.” Zackley said. Hange glared at the room of men. She would absolutely become fucking Queen, and the first thing she was going to do was get more women in parliament to shut down stupid asses like this. “That is the law of Genovia for the last six hundred years. Princess Zoë is not qualified to rule because she is unmarried.”

“Fuck you.” Hange seethed. 

“Forgive me, Your Majesty.” Lord Dawk spoke up. “Not all of us are sure that the princess is the most suitable choice to govern our great nation.” 

“Brony.” she hissed.

“Now, now, gentlemen, gentlemen. Please.” Prime Minister Isayama shushed the chatters that that statement had caused. “I suggest this honoured body allow Princess Zoë one year, during which time she must marry, or she forfeits the throne of Sina to Viscount Ackerman’s nephew.”

“What? No!” Hange gasped.

Sawney whined at her. 

“I object. I object most strongly.” Viscount Ackerman shouted. 

The parliamentarians began calling out spans of time. Time in which she would have to either attach herself to some stranger, or forfeit her country to some upstart bastard. 

“Thirty days!” Lord Zackley called. 

Thirty days.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback and comments are cherished


	3. Okay, We'll Play by the Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just who is this asshole who's trying to steal the throne?

Hange was pacing the throne room, anxiously waiting to meet Erwin there. “How could parliament expect me to fall in love in thirty days?” she asked Sawney. “It's like… It's like it's a big trick to get me to have an arranged marriage, or… No. No, there's no… That's it, there's no ‘or.’ There's... I...”

Sawney barked happily as Erwin entered the room.

“Hange.” Erwin said. “I ah, I’m afraid I have some rather unfortunate news.”

“Rather unfortunate is an understatement!” Hange shouted. “An arranged marriage?”

“How did you-”

“What the _fuck!_ What kind of person agrees to an arranged marriage?” Erwin raised an eyebrow. “Uh… Well, you agreed to an arranged marriage.” Hange faltered, remembering why exactly Erwin was on the throne in the first place. “Right...” she trailed off, embarrassed. 

“Yes, I did.” Erwin smiled. He gazed up at the portrait of Queen Marie on the wall. “And it turned out quite splendidly.” He smiled with a great deal of sadness. “Your sister was my best friend. We grew very fond of each other.” 

“I'm sure, Erwin, but…” Hange studied the portrait. She had never known her half-sister. She had been twelve years older than Hange, and Hange had lived in America until long after her death. Hange remembered it with fondness. She’d taken after her mother, and had been studying to get into the local science program when Erwin had visited and told her that she would be succeeding the throne when she turned twenty-one. “I don’t want _fondness_. I want, you know, romance? That’s what a marriage is supposed-”

“Hange, you don't have to do this. You don't have to become queen.” Erwin assured her. 

“Oh, bullshit.” Hange muttered. “There are a hundred years of Mitrases on these walls. And I will be up there next to my father, and my sister.” Erwin smiled. “I want my chance to make a difference as a ruler.” she said. 

“But?”

Hange sighed. She avoided rubbing her eyes. “No buts.”

Erwin fiddled with the pin keeping his right shirtsleeve attached to his chest. “Spoken like a true queen.” he said. 

But he sounded nervous too.

 

* * *

 

“Lord Ackerman will be arriving shortly, your majesty, with his snake of an uncle.” Mike said. 

“Thank you, Mike.” Erwin said, trying not to laugh in front of the servants. Mike cleared his throat and Erwin looked up from his paperwork. 

“Your Majesty.”

“Yes?”

Mike took a deep breath. “I know Auroro is the prime minister's nephew and he's interning this autumn because he wants to learn about security. But he _never leaves my side_.” Mike’s eyes took on a strange, panicked look. 

Erwin chuckled. “It won't last very long. He returns to school in the new year, and…” he sighed. “Well, the two of us aren’t likely to still be here by then, actually.”

“The two-” Mike paused, and then shook his head slightly, his too-long bangs falling in his eyes. “He wants an audience with you.”

“Auroro?”

“Yes.”

“Now?”

Mike nodded.

“Ah, Auroro?” Just as Mike had implied, Auroro was just behind them. He was dressed just like Mike, all in black, which Erwin almost thought was kind of cute. He stepped forward as soon as Erwin mentioned his name. “I don't know if you've met our housekeeper, Mrs. Jaeger and Mina and Marco, my servants.

Auroro nodded at them thoughtfully. “I'm doing a background check on Marco.”

Marco seemed disturbed. 

“Oh, that's not necessary, Auroro. Everybody in this room has high-priority clearance.”

“Of course, sir, my apologies.”

Erwin smiled. What a weird fucking kid, he thought, and looked down at the paperwork. It was important to get these forms approved, and an invitation sent out immediately. Maybe Isayama’s nephew would wander off if he ignored him. 

“Your Majesty?” Not likely, though.

“Hm?” Upon looking back up, Erwin found that Auroro was scant inches from his face.He was fairly certain that he heard Mike sniggering in the background when he flinched.

“I would gladly take a bullet for you.” Auroro said solemnly.

“Oh, uh, well, h-how brave…” Erwin had no idea how to respond to that.

Weird fucking kid.

 

* * *

 

“The limousine is at the gates, sir.” Nanaba informed Erwin, who seemed to be running about like a chicken with his head cut off. Despite that, however, he was still managing to maintain his dignified air. 

“Thank you Nanaba. And no, Hange, the viscount is not staying, just his nephew. Mike, I want you to protect him and keep your eye on him at all times.”

“Of course.” Mike nodded. 

Hange sat down in one of the nearby chairs a little harder than was polite. “Ugh,” she groaned. “I can't believe parliament invited the guy who's trying to _steal the throne_ to stay here with us at the palace.”

“Oh, no, parliament didn't invite him.” Erwin said. “I did.”

“Wha… What?!” Hange shouted.

“I offered to have him hung by his dick in the courtyard.” Mike added.

Hange nodded in agreement. “Yeah, what about Mike's suggestion, huh?”

“I believe it would probably be a detriment to our reputation. So no. If there's any mischief going on, I'd prefer it be right under my nose.”

Hange rolled her eyes. “I don't want to be nice to this guy, you know?” she continued. “I mean, he’s rude, he's arrogant, self-centred, he's…”

“Have you met him?” Erwin asked. 

“Um, well… No.” Hange admitted.

Erwin hummed in that irritating I-thought-so tone. “Neither have l.” he sighed. 

“Yeah, but,” Hange continued on her tirade. “He probably is, Erwin! I mean… Like, now, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he wants to be the king of Sina? I mean, what the fuck is that all about?”

“Well, _whatever_ he is, we will be charm itself. We will present ourselves respectably. Please tell me you understand that.”

Hange rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

The announcer, who’s name Hange still wasn’t sure how to pronounce. Kirsh-something, spoke up. “Announcing Viscount Ackerman and Lord Ackerman.” Hange groaned, if only to get some surliness out of her system before she had to be polite. 

The viscount waltzed into the room first, with all the cocky arrogance that one human being could possibly exude at once. That wasn’t the surprise.

The surprise was his nephew.

Levi. The man from the party, “just Levi,” who’s foot she’d stepped on, who’d told horrible jokes and made her laugh, who’d been the best part of her evening, and had liked almost immediately. Levi was the traitor? Hange stared, dumbfounded.

Viscount Ackerman bowed to Erwin. “Your Majesty.” He nodded to Hange as well. “Your Highness.”

“Viscount.” Erwin said somewhat coldly. 

“Sire, may I introduce my nephew, Lord Levi Ackerman.”

“Levi.” Erwin said, with that same short bow. “We are delighted to make your acquaintance.”

“Your Majesty, the pleasure is all mine.” Levi’s tone was warmer than Hange had remembered, and his words much more polite. She didn’t like it. “Thank you for inviting me to stay at the palace.”

“May I present Princess Zoë.” Erwin said. Levi met Hange’s eye for the first time since coming in. He looked tired.

“Your Highness.” he bowed stiffly. 

Hange said nothing, she just kept staring at him. A familiar, horribly uncomfortable feeling began to burble up in her chest. Anger, she supposed. She’d liked Levi. She’d liked him a lot. Oh, God, she’d _fucking flirted_ with him. She was pretty sure he’d flirted back. And now here he was in all his honest glory, a lying, despicable traitor, ripping everything from under her feet and backing her into a corner that she wasn’t ready--

“Zoë, would you care to welcome our guest?” Erwin asked tightly. 

Hange took a deep breath and tried not to scream. _Do not ruin this with your temper oh God don’t ruin this with your temper._ She walked towards Levi, with a tight smile.

“ _Lord_ Levi…” He nodded politely. Something seemed to make a light crackling noise in between Hange’s ears. He wasn’t polite. He was a liar, a traitor, and a fucking dick. She slammed her heel down on the arch of his foot as hard as she could. For a brief second, she felt satisfied. That was the brief second where he screamed, she supposed. Immediately after that however, she decided that the best course of action would be to leave. 

So she ran out of the room. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment, I beg you. I'm starving for affection and validation from strangers on the internet.


	4. tbh Armin is the Best like??? the BEST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice cream, books, eligible bachelors, it's a good time had by all.

“What the hell was that?” Erwin asked after ushering the staff out of the kitchen, which was where Hange was .

“Sorry.” Hange mumbled. “I, uh, have met Lord Ackerman, actually.” Hange said, angrily stabbing at her cookie-dough ice cream. “Yep. At the ball. Didn't know who he was, so, you know, we… We danced, and I flirted.” Hange leaned down to press her forehead into the handle of her spoon. “I feel so stupid right now.” she groaned.

“Well, there’s no sense in beating yourself up about it. Or Lord Ackerman.” Erwin pulled up a seat next to her. “Of course, as your king, I absolutely cannot condone it.” Hange made a noncommital grunt. “As a brother, I say, right on.”

Hange smiled. “As a brother?”

“Sure.” Erwin smiled back.

“Awww, you nerd.”

Erwin rolled his eyes. “Now, if you'll come with me, I have something to show you.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I think you can leave that here.” Erwin instructed, pointing to Hange’s ice cream.

“But-- oh, alright.” Hange glanced back at the ice cream on the table as she was leaving. “I shall return for you, my sweet summer child.”

“Hange?”

“Coming!”

 

* * *

 

“The renovations for your room are finally finished. They should have been ready for you when you arrived, but unfortunately there were some difficulties with the bathroom. Anyhow,” Erwin opened the door for Hange. “This is your very own suite.”

Hange stared at the room. She had expected that it would be beautiful cream colours, with delicate gold accents and the royal crest everywhere, much like the rest of the castle. But that wasn’t entirely the case. It wasn’t quite so fancy as everywhere else. It was large and spacious, with dark wood furniture and deep gold walls. There were large windows all around, so it didn’t seem quite so dark as it otherwise might, but there were large curtains by the windows in case Hange wanted them closed. It reminded her of her room in America, which her mother had always called “cavelike.” However this room was so much bigger that it could hardly be called a cave. It was comforting though. The blankets had beautiful, large floral patterns on them, and they looked so soft.

“Erwin, this is…” Hange smiled. It was wonderful. “This is my room?

Erwin laughed. “Who else’s?”

Hange looked at the large window. She’d noticed that European windows never had screens on them, and so she ran over and flung the window wide open. “Oh!” she could see the town from here. The winding streets and crowded red tile roofs. “Erwin, this is beautiful.”

“Good.” Erwin smiled. “I thought that you would like it.”

Upon closer inspection of the curtains, Hange could see that more than just flowers, they were some of her favourite plants. Ferns and lilies, bleeding hearts, even venus flytraps, which she’d always found interesting.

“I love it!”

“There's more.”

“Really?” 

Erwin nodded and led her around the corner. 

It took a minute for what Hange was seeing to sink in. Wall to wall bookshelves. there was a desk in the middle of the little room as well, with a bright lamp, and lots of drawers. 

“Is that mine?” Hange whispered.

“Yes.” Erwin laughed.

“Holy shit…” Hange traced her fingers over the spines of the books. Some were old, practically ancient manuscripts on biology, anatomy, astronomy, and some were new, brand new, completely up to date with dazzling photographs and charts and diagrams. There were also novels, by all her favourite authors. Some which were classics, and some that she hadn’t read in years, but had been middle-school favourites. She pulled a book of fairytales off one shelf. She was surprised to find her name written on the inside cover in sloppy, careless handwriting.

“Did my mom send these here?”

“Yes, she did. Some of them are new, and some of them are from your home in America.” Hange felt almost on the edge of tears. “It’s an interesting selection that your mother sent.” Erwin smiled, and looked over the books. “ _The Agony and the Ecstasy, The Secret Garden, Pride and Prejudice,_ _the Complete Works of Agatha Christie, the Complete Works of William Shakespeare,_ the _Harry Potter_ Series, what’s this? _Ishmael_?”

Hange blushed. “It’s uh, a Star Trek thing.”

“I see.” Erwin placed the battered copy back on the shelf. 

Hange sank into a bean bag chair with the fairytales. “This is incredible, Erwin.” she said.

Erwin smiled. “Now for the best surprise of all.”

Hange stared at him. “What? Better than my own library?”

“Yes. Come on.”

Hange quickly set the book on her desk to browse through again later and followed Erwin. He stopped at her closet and gestured for her to open it. Inside were a bunch of her clothes, both dresses and simple shirts. “Oh, um, great, Erwin! But kind of a letdown after the library, I'm not gonna lie.” Hange turned to smile at Erwin when something grabbed her by the waist and she screamed, turning around to punch whatever horrible closet-monster was there. But she stopped when she recognized the messy blond hair and sunny smile.

“Armin!?”

Armin grinned. “Surprise!” he sang.

Hange flung her arms around the boy with a shriek of delight “You're here!”

“I know! I'm here!”

“You're in Sina!”

“I know.”

“You're in my closet!?”

Armin laughed. “Yeah!”

Hange grinned at him. “I thought you were still in school!” 

“Well, I’m taking some time off to study abroad.” he smiled.

“In Sina?”

He laughed again. “In Sina!”

Armin had been Hange’s best friend in University. They’d had Psychology, General Biology, Microbiology and Philosophy together, and despite his being quite a bit younger, they’d done a ridiculous amount of studying and discussion work on just about everything together. 

“I'm so glad to see you!” Hange hugged him again. “I can't believe you're here. When did your flight get in?”

“Yesterday evening.”

Hange glanced back at the closet. “I hope you haven’t been hiding in there all night.”

“No, don’t worry, I had my own room.”

Hange nodded. “Oh, good.” she bit her lip. “By the way…”

“Hm?  

“I'm getting married.”

“What? To who?”

“I don't know.”

* * *

Hange and Armin were sharing the ice cream that Hange had retrieved from the kitchen, as promised, while Nanaba was going through slides of what seemed to be every eligible suitor on Earth. Hange wondered if they had made them up especially for this occasion, or if they’d had them beforehand.

“Sir Hannes.” they said.

“No, not appropriate.” Erwin declared. “He's a notorious drunk.”

Nanaba clicked to the next slide, carefully balancing their laptop and the popcorn that they were sharing with Erwin. 

Hange gasped. 

“Yes! Oh, yes! l absolutely accept!”

Nanaba hummed. “Prince Suoh. He's not eligible, because he's in line for his own crown.”

“Aww!”

“If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?” Armin asked.

“I just love to look at him." Nanaba sighed.

Erwin nodded and hummed. “Me too. Mm-mm.”

“Your Majesty?” Mike asked, clearly amused.

Erwin cleared his throat. “Next.”

“Keiji Rosé of Klorva.” Nanaba announced. 

Hange tilted her head. He was handsome, she supposed. Not quite as handsome as Prince Suoh, who didn’t have such angular features. 

“He’s an architect.” Nanaba continued. “No title, but good family.”

“What about the title "husband"?” Armin suggested.

“Yeah, he's cute.” Hange nodded.

“His boyfriend thinks so too.” Mike added. 

“Oh, well put him on all the invitation lists, anyways.” Erwin said “He's a great dancer.” Nanaba made a note, and then told Mike to go to the next slide. 

“Rod Reiss?” Hange asked. 

“No,” Erwin said. “Too old.”

“Flegel Reeves?” Mike announced skeptically about the next slide.

“Too young!”

“Djel Sanes?” Nanaba read off.

Mike snorted. “Arrested too many times.”

“No, no, we need someone titled, someone who can help you run a country without ego getting in the way.” Erwin rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Someone attractive, smart, but not arrogant. Someone with compassion.”

“Someone like him?” Hange asked, gesturing to the current slide, which featured a young man with short, neat brown hair and an awkwardly sweet smile. 

“Yes!” Erwin exclaimed. “Someone very much like him. Good eye, Zoë.”

“Hey, he’s into science, that’s cool.” Armin pointed out. 

Erwin smiled in satisfaction. “I’m surprised I didn't think of him before.” 

“Moblit Berner...” Mike read. “Duke of Karanese. He studied biology at Oxford University,” Nanaba read. “Loves drawing, and he's a pilot in the British Royal Air Force.”

“Aw. Well, he looks... decent.” Hange smiled. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most important thing in this chapter is the introduction of Armin. There are important plot points, but Armin definitely should overshadow absolutely everything.  
> Love that arm child


	5. A Speedy Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Moblit, because he is precious.

“Armin!” Hange shouted. “Be careful on the rocks!” Armin looked back with a big grin and waved her off. “Armin!” she sighed. “Stubborn kid.” she muttered.

Moblit laughed. “He’s quite energetic.” he noted.

“Yeah, well, he loves the beach.” Hange said. 

“You grew up in California, though, didn’t you?”

Hange could appreciate Moblit’s attempts to get to know her better. That was the point of the whole trip up north. Still, they weren’t allowed to be alone of course. Armin was with them, obviously, along with Erwin and Moblit’s parents. Mike and his new intern, Aoloroloro or whatever, were tailing them as well. Hange had also seen several cameramen following them, so any possibility of his finding out her real personality was a bust.

“Yes, but Armin didn’t. He’s from Nebraska.”

“I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure where that is in America.” Moblit admitted. Hange laughed. 

“The midwest.”

“Right, but from what I understand the division of states into north, south, east and west isn’t all that clear.”

Hange nodded. “Fair point. Nebraska’s sort of in the middle, a little northeast of Colorado.”

“Is it one of the square ones?”

“It’s one of the square ones.” Hange grinned. “Well, I’ve teased you enough on your American geography, it’s your turn. Where are you from?”

“Well, I’m from Hertfordshire.”

“South of London?”

“North.” Moblit corrected. “And I went to Cambridge, which is north of them both. I’ve been living in London since graduating.”

“So Karanese is in…”

“Hertfordshire.”

Hange laughed. “Okay!” she said. “Well, now that we’ve both assessed our poor grasp of geography, what… is your favourite book?”

“Oh, come on, that’s such a difficult question! Uh, _My Sister’s Keeper._ I think.You?”

“ _Anderson’s Fairytales._ Uh, favourite food?”

“Hm… Pringles.”

“Pringles?” Hange laughed. “Brilliant.” 

“What’s yours?” Moblit asked.

“I am very partial to lasagna.” Hange said. “Extra cheesy.”

Moblit nodded. “Nice. Alright, my turn. What electives did you take in University?”

Hange oohed. “That’s a very good question. Sadly, not a very interesting answer. I minored in Biology. What about you?”

“Ah, let’s see, English lit, astronomy, anthropology, mixology-”

“Mixology? They teach that at Oxford?”

“Yes, they do.”

“Well, you’ll have to show off your mixology skills to me sometime.”

“Certainly, princess. What sort of drinks do you like?”

“Uh, well actually, plain scotch is good enough for me.” 

Moblit grinned. “All right, well, I’d be happy to serve you some Karanese whiskey anytime.”

Just then, Hange heard Armin screech. “Armin?”

“I’m fine! Shit, that’s cold!”

Hange laughed. “I told you to be careful!” 

“Whyyyy is it so cold?!”

“Well, it’s September, and that’s the Baltic Sea.” Hange said, clambering over the rocks to give Armin a hand. The wind was freezing, Hange noticed, right before it picked up and ripped her scarf, which hadn’t been doing much in the way of warming her anyways, right off her neck. 

“Shit!” she whispered, and dashed after it.

“Wait, Zoë. A princess should not run for a scarf!” 

Hange was too busy doing exactly that to roll her eyes at Moblit, who _was_ also running after them. Her fingers closed around the edge of the scarf. “I got it! I got it!” she shouted, and Moblit’s arm wrapped itself around Hange’s waist just as she felt the ground disappear from under her feet.

“Be careful!” Moblit shouted, dragging her from the edge of the cliff. 

“Why, thank you, sir.” Hange flashed him a cheesy grin. She wasn’t particularly worried about having almost fallen off the cliff, but Moblit looked terrified, so she patted him on the shoulder and straightened up. “Come on, let’s go get some lunch.”

 

* * *

 

Hange leaned against Moblit’s shoulder, which he was really too bony to do comfortably. 

“Your Highness?” he asked.

“I’m leaning against your shoulder, Moblit. You can call me Hange, it’s okay.”

“Hange?”

“Yes, not Zoë.” Moblit nodded, which Hange could feel easily. How could his clavicle be so sharp? She decided to sit up. “What did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, well,”

“Wait, could you, sorry, could you try to talk without moving your lips? The... the readers have binoculars.”

Moblit looked past her shoulder at the press. “Ah, nerve-wracking.” Hange nodded. “Well, I uh, I have something for you.” Out of his blazer pocket, he pulled a microscope slide case. 

“A slide case?” Hange smiled. “Cool, what’s in it?”

“Why don't you open it? You'll see.” Moblit smiled nervously. Hange hoped that it was something gross. Probably not, but still, she could hope. 

There were no microscope slides in the case at all, gross or not. Instead, there was a golden ring, with a glittering diamond resting on the outside of the band. Hange gasped. 

“Moblit…”

It wasn’t Moblit’s fault that the sight of the ring had been like a punch in the gut. It wasn’t his fault that Hange was still angry about having to get married, either. He’d clearly put a lot thought into the presentation, and done something that she should like. She didn’t, but it wasn’t because anything was wrong. She wasn’t ready, and she knew it. Moblit was wonderful, he was sweet and funny and cute, they even shared common interests! But there was still no…

But she had no choice. There was less than a month, and ready or not, Hange had to marry. Moblit was nice. It would be fine. It wouldn’t be amazing. But it would be okay. As arranged marriages went, this wasn’t half bad. Maybe it would be alright.

Hange smiled at Moblit. “Do I have to put it on myself?”

* * *

 

“Announcing the royal engagement of Princess Zoë and Moblit Berner, Duke of Karanese!” Hange heard the cheers of the crowds, and waved at them with one hand, the other secured firmly in Moblit’s. From this height she could barely make out the faces of the people, but she could hear them perfectly well. They sounded happy, and excited. She loved them, and the hills and town below that she could see as well. She could marry Moblit. For them. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know little to nothing about American or English geography, but just know that Karanese is not a real place, because it is a fictional location from cannon.


	6. A Twisted Plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny and Levi move forward with their next plan.

“You know, Uncle Kenny,” Levi said, leaning against the doorframe of the sitting room. “You were wrong, Princess Zoë has managed to find a husband within a week.”

“Zoë can’t be happy with the idea of an arranged marriage.” Kenny skulked. He shook his head. “No… Your task is to romance her.” 

“What.” Levi pinned him with a glare that always worked on ordinary people, but never on his uncle. 

“Show her what a real relationship could be like!” Kenny nodded as he spoke, clearly making up his mind, and with no room for argument. 

“Me?”

“A relationship filled with heat and passion!”

“ _Me?”_ Levi repeated. “And why the fuck exactly would I want to do that?”

“To change her mind about Moblit! You hardly need to marry her, I’d advise against that, in fact, but just... _distract_ her.”

“Distract her?” Levi gaped at Kenny. 

“Yes! And the thirty-day deadline expires, and the throne is ours.”

“That’s kind of fucked up, you know that, right?” Levi asked. 

“Sonny, you ain’t gonna get far in life without doing some fucked up shit, okay?” Kenny glowered. 

Levi looked at his uncle carefully. “And you're sure my mother wanted this?” he asked. That was the pin in the whole thing. The only reason that Levi had even bothered coming back to his uncle after university, after the… His mother was Kenny’s sister. Levi always wanted to know more about her, and Kenny had grown up with her. 

“It was her dearest wish.” Kenny nodded solemnly. “Her last words to me were, ‘help him, Kenny. One day he could be king.’"

Levi narrowed his eyes. “I don't remember her ever mentioning that to me.” he said, keeping a tight hold on skepticism. 

“Well, you wouldn't, you were only six years old when she died.”

“No, I was ten.”

Levi definitely didn’t trust Kenny entirely anymore. He had when he was young and alone and afraid. He was older and alone now, but not afraid. He wasn’t still living with Kenny because he was unable to make it on his own. He wasn’t fighting against Hange for his mother either. He did remember her, her beliefs, and love, and he didn’t believe Kenny for a second. He wanted to be a good king. He wanted to make Sina a better place to live so that people like his mother could be better protected. So that children with no parents, and no hope wouldn’t starve on the outskirts of small and neglected villages. 

He wasn’t going along with Kenny’s insane plans for his own sake, or even for his mother’s memory. He was doing it for the people. For them.

 

* * *

 

Hange shifted awkwardly against the cold stair railings, shifting her German language textbook in her cold fingers. She looked up from the dry material for what seemed like the millionth time. It wasn’t that German was an uninteresting language, and it wasn’t the first time that she’d had to plough through a boring textbook. She was distracted. 

Moblit was flying back to Karanese for a charity function, while she was stuck here making wedding arrangements, which wasn’t something she wanted to be doing. She looked down at the ring. It was a little too gaudy for her taste, she thought.

“Having second thoughts?” a frustrating, familiar voice asked. 

Hange looked up with a sharp glare. “No.” she denied. “Actually, on the contrary. I was just admiring my ring. Isn’t it lovely?” Hange didn’t miss the irony around the fact that she’d just been criticizing it. “You know, he really is so romantic.” she continued, and glanced over to Levi to assure herself that he was convinced of her affections. However, when she looked at him, she saw only his tired, icy eyes fixed on her with an undefinable expression. What the hell was he staring at? Hange cleared her throat. “Well, if you'll excuse me, I really must go see to some wedding details.” she began heading up the stairs, but turned sharply when she heard Levi following her. “I'm sorry, is there something you wanted to say to me?” she asked tersely. 

Levi shook his head. “No, no. You are the one who stomped on me with your big feet.”

Hange glared at him. “Big feet?”

“Gargantuan.”

Just then, Hange heard Connie shouting. “Sasha, I found her!”

“No, no, Connie! Connie?” Connie looked up with a smile. She shook her head at him. “I'm not here.” she whispered. Connie stared at her blankly for a second before gasping and nodding. 

“Ohhh… gotcha! Nevermind, Sasha! It wasn't her. It was a ghost!” Connie raced back through the ballroom, making ghost noises. After a second, Hange could hear Sasha echoing them back. 

“Hiding from your servants?” Levi asked, no doubt in interest of mocking her for doing something so un-queenly. She decided to change the subject back.

“You know, you didn’t seem to have a problem dancing with my gargantuan feet.”

He continued up the stairs after her. “Yeah I danced with you. Call the Military Police!” she glared at him. “Hange, I would remind you that we only danced for about a minute.”

She deeply regretted letting him call her that. “That’s not the point, _Lord Ackerman._ ” she hissed. “It was a lie, because you didn't tell me who you were and that you’re trying to steal my crown.” she turned on her heel, wanting to have the last of the conversation, but the vexatious bastard followed her down the corridor. 

“Oh, well, excuse my lapse of good manners. You see, usually, when I ask a woman to dance, I always show her my family tree.” 

She whirled around. “You fucking-” she only stopped when she heard Marco’s voice.

“Let's look in the ballroom.”

“The ballroom?” she heard Connie say. “I don't think she's in the ballroom.”

Since Hange wasn’t in the ballroom, she chose not to worry for the time being and so continued arguing.

“Do you want to know what else you were doing, while you were doing your little lie dance?”

He stared at her. “Lie dance? The fuck is a lie dance?”

Hange could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. She didn’t want to be caught almost in a fist-fight with Erwin’s guest, and she didn’t want to _stop_ arguing with him either. She grabbed the young lord by his stupid cravat and pulled him into the closest room. Which happened to be a cramped broom cupboard.

“The lie dance is not the point.” she said, switching the light on. “The point is that…” she stopped when Levi switched the light off.

“What is the point?” he asked quietly. 

Despite the sudden darkness, Hange could make out his expression. It wasn’t very different from his normal robot-face, but somehow he looked nervous. It was different from the flirty robot-face that he’d had on at the ball, which she had thought looked a little nervous, but not like this. She turned the light on. 

“The point is that I'm onto you.” or at least she had been. She wasn’t sure what was going on now. “Oh boy, am I onto what you are trying to do.” 

“And what am I trying to do?” Levi asked, flicking the light off and crossing his arms. 

Hange turned the light back on. “I think we both know exactly what that is.”

Someone opened the door. 

“Oh, my, u-uh, please forgive the intrusion,” Marco sputtered. “Your Highness, Lord Ackerman.” he saluted and closed the closet door again. 

Hange and Levi stood there awkwardly for a minute, saying nothing as the knowledge of what Marco had just assumed hung in the air. 

“Shit.” they both said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi's a massive dork who doesn't know how to flirt just fyi.


	7. Adventures are Dangerous, be They Romatic or Poultry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to write a summary right now

“We know that this Lord Ackerman punk is native to Sina. Graduated university with honours, enjoys cooking and cleaning, plays polo and fences. The worst that I can find on him is that he was in a car accident in Germany two years ago, but it was decided that it wasn’t his fault, and the other vehicle was charged. I’ll go over the case later to see what I can find, but other than that, he’s clean.” Mike shrugged.

“She was in a closet?” Erwin asked, still in shock.

“With him. Yes.”

Erwin groaned. “Do you think that she’ll be a good queen?” he asked Mike.

Milk hummed, and considered the question carefully. “Well, she's a little out there…” he glanced at Erwin, who raised an eyebrow. “Okay, she’s a little fucking crazy, loud, and weird.” Erwin chuckled. “But I've always believed in her! She’s sharp-minded, genuine, and she really loves the people.”

“Yes…” Erwin murmured. “The wedding invitations have been sent out.” Erwin said. “There’s no going back now. She and Moblit make a fine pair, I think.”

Mike made no reply.

“They’ll be quite content together.”

“Erwin.” Mike said. “Forget about the wedding for a second.” he cleared his throat. “In less than a month, you won’t be king anymore, and I won’t be your head of security.” Erwin’s eyes grew wide. 

“Oh, Mike, l…”

“Wait, geez, let me propose properly, you tragic set of eyebrows.”

Erwin grabbed Mike by the arm before he could kneel. 

“Mike, there's a wedding to be planned! Zoë needs to win over the people of Sina, all in less than thirty days. I... I’m sorry.”

“Erwin, for fuck’s sake. You don’t have to apologize. I know, you’ve got a lot going on right now, just remember it’s okay to think about yourself, alright?”

Erwin smiled. “Thanks, Mike.”

Mike sighed, then smiled. “What would you like to do?” Mike asked. “When you’re not running the place anymore?” 

Erwin considered it. “I’m not sure. Perhaps I might travel more.” 

“What, you haven’t traveled enough yet?”

Erwin smiled. “Oh, sure, sure. I’ve been to many countries. But I haven’t really _seen_ them.” he hummed thoughtfully. “I miss the ocean. I haven’t been out there since I left the navy.”

Mike nodded. “Me too. Do you miss the navy?”

Erwin raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Do you?”

Mike shook his head. “No. Besides, Sina smells much less salty. Or at least it did, up until this ridiculous political struggle.”

Erwin laughed. “Salty bitches.” he murmured in amusement.

“Salty bitches.” Mike nodded. “Well,” he said. “Think about it, anyways?”

Erwin acquiesced. “Alright.”

 

* * *

 

Hange wasn’t particularly looking forward to three-dimensional manoeuvre gear lessons. It seemed like a weird thing to learn in the twenty-first century, but it was a tradition in Sina. Still, she’d never been hooked up to the weird contraption before, and was a little terrified. At least she wasn’t going to have to carry around those massive metal containers for the sword blades. She knew they weren’t that heavy, but she imagined that the awkwardness could only contribute to her flying face-first into a wall and breaking her neck somehow.

“I’m surprised that you’re letting me do this, Erwin.” she said, trying (and failing) to get her thigh braces to stay up. 

“It’s a tradition, and you have to secure it a little higher so the clasps connect.”

“Right.” Hange finally got it to sit correctly against her leg. “It just seems like a ridiculous juxtaposition to the whole ‘poised princess’ thing. Isn’t this dangerous?”

“Not if you do it correctly.” Erwin answered. 

Hange started to sweat. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Erwin said, gesturing for her to clip her belt to the insane contraption. “It’s just a short run, more ceremonial than functional, and then you get to sit back and watch the pros go at it. Honestly, I ought to have started you on this years ago.” Erwin moved around to the side of the machine and began lifting her up. “This you don’t have to worry about. It’s just balance. Kid’s stuff.”

Hange wobbled in the harness for a second before balancing her weight out, shifting it from foot to foot until she stopped feeling so unsteady. She turned around carefully to grin at Erwin.

“How’m I doing, bro?”

He nodded approvingly. “Very good. The entrance ceremony should go well if you keep this up through training.”

The ceremony. Which went against every careful, tidy rule of royal life that Hange had spent these last few years learning. Despite being a little nervous about messing it up, she couldn’t be more excited. Blasting at top speeds through a stained glass window (not actual glass anymore but coloured paper) in a full-length ballgown to take the throne was the stuff of her childhood dreams, and she remembered now how much she’d bounced up and down in her seat as Nanaba had described it. 

Yeah, she was definitely looking forward to that.

 

~

 

“We will have somebody come and visit your farm in the morning, and perhaps we can repair the damage done to your barn.” Erwin said, nodding graciously at the farmer. 

The farmer held forth a bag of grain. “This is for your table.” he said formally.

“Thank you.” Erwin waved the gift for Marco to take. Marco would then hand it to another servant, who would take it to the kitchen. 

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” the farmer saluted. 

“You do this so well. They just adore you.” Hange smiled. 

“It's part of an ancient tradition of Sina.” Erwin said, taking a sip of water. 

“Less destructive than the coronation ceremony.”

Erwin struggled to not show that he’d choked on the water. “Quite.” he said, clearing his throat. “And, I believe, much more important to the people. One has to be fair and very honest. Even if you can't help, you have to show the people you care.”

“Citizen Vivian Kätzchen.” Herr Kirschstein announced.

“Your Majesty.” 

“Guten Tag, Ms. Kätzchen. May I present my granddaughter, Princess Zoë.”

Vivian saluted with a smile. “Princess Mia.”

“Frauline.” Hange smiled back. 

“Thank you for seeing me today. Something for your table.” Vivian held forth a covered basket.

“Thank you.” Erwin said, and gestured for Marco to take it.

“She’s my favourite.” Vivian said with a suspiciously innocent grin. “I hope you like omelettes.”

Hange wasn’t sure how to respond to that, until she looked over at the basket. “May l?” she wasn’t entirely sure whether she was asking Erwin, Vivian or Marco, but it was Vivian who replied. 

“Of course.”

Hange pulled back the covering and gasped slightly. “Aw, it's a chicken!” she reached forward slowly and carefully to touch it’s soft, fluffy head. 

“Careful.” Vivian said, still grinning. 

Hange carefully reached inside the basket to lift the chicken out. "Hey, there, cutie!” she said to the chicken, which responded by wildly flapping in her face and leaping out of her arms to scamper across the room. Hange stood there for a moment, jaw slack, watching the wild fucking chicken running around before she dashed into action. She, Marco and Herr Kirschstein were desperately trying to catch it together. Some people were screaming, she was fairly certain she could hear Vivian laughing. Why was this chicken so fucking fast?! 

“Zoë.” Erwin grabbed the back of Hange’s jacket as she followed the chicken over the dias. Fortunately, she didn’t fall over. 

“Yeah?” Hange said, twisting around to look at him. 

“A princess never chases a chicken.”

Hange nodded, watching Herr Kirschstein and Marco race around after the chicken, trying not to trip one another, or anyone else in the room.

“…Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry shitscram u sluts
> 
> ESPECIALLY TO VIV WHO IS HERE IN A CAMEO AAH WOWZERS


	8. There's A Snake In My Wooden Leg!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~disaster~

Hange watched Nanaba fit the sidesaddle onto Moppel’s back nervously. “Hey, Nanaba? 

“Yes?”

“I can't ride sidesaddle.” Hange confessed. 

“No, of course not.” Nanaba said. “Who can? It’s not nearly as safe, and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. But don’t worry, you don’t need to.”

“I don’t?” Hange asked.

Nanaba grinned. “Eddie is going to be your riding companion.”

“Eddie?”

With a flourish, Nanaba produced a false leg. “Eddie.”

Hange stared. “…It’s a wooden leg.”

“Yep.”

“That is very sneaky, Nanaba.” Hange smirked at her friend. “Did you come up with this?” she took the wooden leg in her hands to stare at it more closely.

“Oh, no, it's a centuries-old idea. I never learned how to ride sidesaddle, neither did any of the women in Sina, I imagine. However I quit using Eddie years ago, so I’d be more than happy to quietly pass the lil’ fella on to you.” they leaned in to whisper conspiratorially to Hange. “Don’t tell the blokes.”

Hange smiled at them. “You’re a damn treasure, Nanaba.”

Nanaba smiled back. “Come on, I’ll show you how to use it.” Hange handed Eddie back to them, and watched closely as they slid the thick leather strap over the horn of the saddle.

“Our ancestors knew a thing or two, right?”

“No shit.” Hange grinned. 

“Alright, so then you just mount as usual.” 

Hange did so.

“And then, you just drape your skirt over it and nobody suspects a thing.”

Hange grinned. It looked like she’d be getting off easy on this one.

 

* * *

 

“Hear ye, hear ye. Princess Zoë Epistími Hange Mitras reviews the Royal Guard of Sina.”

Kenny still wasn’t back, Levi noticed. He groaned, inwardly of course, and moved forward to find a seat somewhere. He wound up sitting next to a young blond man, who smiled at him brightly. 

“Hi!” he said cheerily. Levi supposed he ought to introduce himself. If the kid was at a formal military function such as this, he was bound to be someone important. 

“Hi, I’m Levi.”

The boy raised an eyebrow. “Ah, the thug who's trying to stage the palace coup. I'm Armin Arlert. I don’t like you.”

Levi felt a prickle of amusement. “Okay.”

“Uh, I’m Moblit Berner.” the man sitting next to Armin said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hange’s fiancé?” 

The man smiled nervously. “That’s me.”

Levi nodded cordially. The three men turned their attention to the green before them as the Captain of the Guard called the soldiers to attention. Hange rode forth on her dark chestnut steed. She was a good rider, Levi could see. Confident and smiling as she rode between the ranks of soldiers.

He knew that they both noticed the instant something went wrong. Hange’s horse, who had been so relaxed but a moment before, was rearing back with a sharp whinny. 

“Moppel? Moppel!” Levi saw Armin and Moblit start forward just as he was standing. Mike was already rushing to Hange’s hand, taking hold of her leg to help her dismount, but only succeeded in…

Pulling her leg off.

There was a moment of silence, as all the people and the horse quieted. Levi heard a woman snicker behind him.

“No wonder she's so clumsy, she’s got a wooden leg!” 

Levi wanted to punch the woman, whoever she was. Hange looked like she was about to cry as she set her horse back in motion and cantered away. 

Other people were laughing. “Talk about getting off on the wrong foot.” someone said.

Levi was already wriggling out of the crowd when he heard Kirschstein announce the end of the ceremony. People were still fucking laughing.

 

* * *

 

Hange definitely wasn’t crying in Moppel’s barn. She was just getting the horse settled. Something had freaked him out, it didn’t matter what. She wiped her face with the back of her hand. Not crying.

“You shouldn't hide. It only makes them gossip more.”

Hange hadn’t spoken to Levi at all since the closet incident. She’d actually put quite a lot of effort into avoiding him, so it wasn’t _really_ a surprise that they’d run into each other here. “What do you want?”

“Just think, Hange. One more leg and you could've easily outrun your horse.”

“I don't need this right now.” she said tightly. She hated her voice for sounding so thick.

“Sorry, l--”

“No, you're not.” she snapped, though she supposed he might be, but God knew she didn’t want his pity. That would be a hell of a lot worse than him gloating. She didn’t want to think of Levi as a decent or kind man, because that made the whole situation a million times worse. “Just go away. Go away, go away…”

“Hange…”

“Just fuck off!” Hange snapped. Levi looked surprised, but not at all scared. She moved past him to leave. 

“Wait, wait.” Levi grabbed her by the arm. “Here.” Through her tears, Hange could see the handkerchief he was handing her. She took it slowly. She didn’t want this. “Sure it’s embarrassing.” Levi said. “But you seem like someone who doesn’t give a shit what other people think.”

Hange stared at him. “What?”

“Princess, excuse me.” Mike interrupted. “The king has arrived.”

Hange groaned. “Great.” she said, and left Moppel’s barn, unaware that Mike was still talking to Levi.

 

* * *

 

“You just gonna let her go?”

Levi scowled at him. “I don’t know about you, but I do actually value my life.”

“Sure.” was all Mike said. “But Levi?”

Levi raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t fuck this up, man.”

Levi didn’t say anything, but he looked a little less angry as he too left.

Mike patted Moppel’s flank. “They’ll figure it out, bud. Don’t you worry.”

All of a sudden, a foul scent entered the barn. 

“Unfortunate incident, that.” Kenny said.

“Viscount.” Mike greeted coldly. Kenny looked damn smug, and Mike knew that his hunch was indeed correct. “You may not be aware of what my job entails as the royal head of security.” he began, walking towards the man so that he could effectively glare down at him. “My job is to protect the crown, to make sure no harm comes to the crown. To step in when someone toys with the crown's emotions, you see.”

Kenny smirked. “I think the entire country knows just how well you cater for the crown's ‘emotions.’”

Mike did not stoop to be offended, as Kenny obviously wanted him to be.

“If that is the case, then the country knows I take my profession seriously.” he said. “Listen well, Kenny. If you hurt my friend, I will fucking shank you in the spine.”

“Sonny, I think you’ll find that the word “fear" ain’t in my vocabulary.”

Mike smiled. “Maybe.” he said. “But it's in your eyes.” he drew the rubber snake that he had found on the grounds where Moppel had panicked out of his pocket and thrust it at Kenny. “You forgot something.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Hange's horse Moppel or is it Levi's horse? Or neither of their horses? hh
> 
> There was a reason for calling the leg Eddie. I don't remember what it was though.
> 
> This is almost exactly the same as the original, but I still consider the scene between the Viscount and Joe to be very hardcore, and pretty much perfect so... there it is. :)


	9. Some Taboo Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Social interaction. Yes, they're PROS at that...

“Levi, I want to ask you a question.” Erwin stated as he watched Levi washing dishes with an alarming verve, given that it definitely wasn’t his job.

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Levi answered distractedly.

“Why are you so against Princess Zoë being queen?”

“Well, my uncle feels that Princess Zoë doesn't know the people.”

“And you feel you do know the people?”

“Yes. I've lived my entire life in this country. Hange didn't even know just how closely she was tied to the country until high school, and to be frank, she's spent almost no time here since then.”

“Well, I happen to feel that she'll make a great ruler.” Erwin countered. “She's brilliant, caring, intuitive.”

“I know that.” Levi said, moving onto the next pot.

“You do?”

“Obviously. But how can one rule a country that they barely know?”

“Touché. That's a very good question.” Erwin nodded, and took a sip of his whiskey. “Perhaps we ought to do something about that.”

Levi nodded as he scrubbed at the cookware. “Perhaps.”

 

* * *

 

Hange was excited about the garden party. Not only was the weather unseasonably warm and perfect, but she was happy to get to talk to the people some more, hopefully without a repeat of anything resembling the _chicken incident._ She chatted and mingled with _everyone._ It was pleasant enough, and it was pretty easy to remember enough about the people who she’d met before. Hange supposed that she was lucky that when she learned people’s names and faces, she didn’t easily forget them. She’d even managed to retain Auroro and Herr Kirschstein’s names, _finally._

She was especially glad to get to speak with Mikasa again. Mikasa wasn't the first person Hange would have thought to find at a garden tea party, but she seemed to be blending in perfectly well. Maybe she really was a secret agent. 

“Did you happen to see who's here?” she asked, innocently sipping her tea.

“Who?” Hange asked.

“The king wannabe with Lady Petra.” Armin said with a grimace.

“Oh.” Hange resolutely did not look over at Levi, who was standing with a woman in a turquoise dress with short red hair. She was pretty, and laughing at something Levi had said. Hange scowled. Levi wasn’tthat funny. Not in the kind of way that ought to produce charming, innocent laughter. “Is she his... girlfriend?”

Mikasa shook her head. “Levi doesn't have girlfriends,” she said. “He has dates.” 

“Attractive ones.” Armin said, with a raised eyebrow.

“I wonder why that is.” Hange said. Mikasa didn’t answer. Perhaps her well of strangely intimate information wasn’t bottomless after all. Unless it was just that she didn’t want to answer. 

“Do you talk to him much?” she asked instead. Not an unusual question, since the little asshole was still staying at the palace. 

“Uh… We… acknowledge each other.” Hange smiled awkwardly.

“Hange?” Moblit called out. 

“Yeah, just a sec!” Hange turned back to Mikasa and Armin. “Better get going.”

“The fiancé calls.” Armin smiled.

Hange laughed and walked over to Moblit. “What’s u—” she trailed off as she realized who Moblit was talking to. 

“Petra and I were just discussing her acceptance to Oxford Law.” Moblit said. 

Lady Petra blushed, with a small smile. She was just a little taller than Levi in her heels, delicate, and really not quite looking like a lawyer, but then, Hange had seen Legally Blonde more times than she wished to count, so she supposed that that was irrelevant. 

“Wow, congratulations, Petra. You know, Moblit has a masters in biology from Oxford.”

“Oh, really? That's wonderful.” Petra smiled genuinely. 

“Fantastic.” Levi said, much less genuinely. 

Hange glared at him. 

“You know, Petra," Moblit said. “If you have any questions about Oxford, I’d be more than happy to share whatever I can with you.”

Petra lit up. “That’d be fantastic, thank you. I’m a little nervous about it.” 

"Actually, I have some pictures with me now, if you'd like to see..."

"Sure!" Petra grinned.

Hange and Levi stood there awkwardly watching as their partners abandoned them. 

After a moment of horrible silence, Levi spoke up in a stilted voice. “Nice garden party.” 

“It is.” Hange replied.

“You two make a lovely couple.”

“We do. Thanks.”

“It’s a shame you're not attracted to him.”

“I know, it…” Hange froze. Levi got an infuriating twinkle in his eye and strolled off. “You... I... Come back here!” Hange raced after him, as quickly as she could in heels. “Come back here. You... you can't just say something like that and walk away!” she shouted. “I will have you know that I am very attracted to Moblit!”

Levi spun around so sharply that Hange nearly crashed into him, and had to back off a few steps to avoid his slamming face-first into her chest.

“Yes, obviously.” Levi said sarcastically.

“I am!” Hange insisted, although she knew it wasn’t true. “He's... We are perfect for each other.” she floundered for a brief second. She might be digging herself in too deep there. “We have similar interests!” God, that sounded pathetic. 

“Oh yeah? How passionate.” Levi said. “I find that when people are describing their relationships, the first thing they mention is usually love, don’t you?”

Hange narrowed her eyes, trying to asses the meaning of his almost blank face. “You are so jealous.” she smiled cruelly. 

From the way he flinched, Hange thought she might just be right. She was figuring him out, then. 

“Why would I be jealous of Moblit?” he said tightly. “He's got to spend the rest of his life married to you.”

Hange’s eyes widened, and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears, or it might have been the fountain that they were standing next to. “I hate you.” she spat.

“I hate you.” he replied. Hange could feel her rage building even more at the hollowness of his words. She didn’t hate him. He didn’t hate her. He was jealous, and she was unhappy, and they didn’t hate each other at all. 

This knowledge led to a bad decision. 

Hange kissed Levi.

Upon remembering what a _bad decision_ that was, Hange pulled back.

“Fuck, fuck, shit, no, shit.” she said, and began to pace around the fountain. “Yeah, nope, I definitely shouldn’t have… Oh, damn, that was stupid, fuck.”

“…You enjoyed it.” Levi said softly. 

She whirled around and stared at him. “Ex _cuse_ me?!” He was right of course, and she’d started it. 

“Do you want to kiss again?”

“No! Sh-shut the fuck up!” Hange stammered. “I’m trying to panic here, that was really bad.”

“Gee thanks.”

Hange glared at him. “I know what you’re doing.” she snapped. “You’re just trying to make me like you so that I won't want to marry Moblit and so that you can have the crown.” 

That was probably a bit far-fetched.

“Well, maybe I am,”

“You bastard!”

“But maybe I just like kissing you.” Levi took hold of her hand and pulled her close. 

“You... You stay away from me.”

What happened next was arguably Hange’s fault for two reasons. One, she was the one who pushed Levi, and two, she didn’t let go of his hand. Which was why they were both in the fountain. 

They came up spluttering, Hange fuming more than ever. 

“Ow…” Levi groaned. “Hange—”

“You know what?” she said tersely. “I have an idea. I have a brilliant idea! Why don't you go underwater and I'll count to a million?!” She clambered out of the fountain and stalked off, resolutely ignoring Levi’s telling her to be careful. 

 

* * *

 

As Hange walked up to Erwin, most of her anger had boiled off and she only felt ashamed. 

“Do I want to know?” he asked.

“I doubt it.” she said, glancing at Moblit, who was staring at her dripping wet form in shock.

“Um, I’ll be right up?” Moblit asked. 

Hange could hear him talking to Erwin as she left. 

“She's going to be a handful, isn't she?” Hange cringed.

“You'll never be bored, Moblit.”

Hange rounded a corner where she knew that there was a secluded alcove. It seemed like more and more she was trying to find quiet places to cry. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” she whispered to herself in-between sobs. “I really shouldn’t have fucking done that.”

Because now she wasn’t going to be able to let it go. Because even though she knew she didn’t love Moblit, and wasn’t attracted to him, it had at least been okay. But now there was something else, and it wasn’t okay anymore. It was all unbearable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well now they're in love. how inconvenient.


	10. Who Doesn't Love Orphans?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THERE THEY ARE!  
> THEEREE THEYY AARREE!!

“When are you going to start acting responsibly?” Erwin asked, pacing around Hange’s library. Hange curled deeper into her chair, pulling her book of fairytales closer with her knees.  
“Hiding in a closet with a man who is not your fiancé? Coming out of a fountain, dripping wet, with the same man, who is not your fiancé?”  
“Do you think I plan for this kind of stuff to happen?” Hange asked incredulously. “I lost it! Sometimes you just lose it!”  
“You can't afford to lose it.” Erwin shouted. “Other people lose it. We're supposed to find it. People look up to us, and we're held to higher standards of behaviour. Can you try to understand that?”  
“I do understand that!” Hange shouted back. “It’s just… it’s complicated, okay?”  
Erwin sighed. “Don’t stay up all night reading. You'll want to look somewhat alive for the parade tomorrow.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Good night.” Erwin said.  
“Good night, Sir.” Hange replied icily.

* * *

  
“Military Police, fall in. Big parade day!” the Captain of the Guard shouted. Armin grimaced at the excessive noise, until the captain turned to him. “Identify, Mustang personnel!” he shouted. Armin stared at him.  
“Why do you talk like that?” he asked.  
The soldier seemed at a loss for words. “I'm Captain Eren Jaeger of the Royal Guard.” he explained in a weak, but still loud voice.  
“What if we all talked like that?” Armin asked. “Armin Arlert,” he shouted, with an energetic salute to rival the soldier’s. “Best friend of Princess Zoë, riding in the 'Stang!”  
The soldier blushed slightly. “That’s a very nice salute, Mr. Arlert.” he said, this time in a quiet voice. “It's a pleasure to meet you.  
Armin smiled. “Hi.”  
Captain Jaeger snapped back to salute Armin. “The cutest boy is riding in the 'Stang!” he announced.

* * *

  
“How do you feel today, Hanjo?”  
“Honestly, Mike, not that great.”  
“Did you stay up all night reading?”  
Hange narrowed her eyes at that. “Maybe.”  
Mike smiled, that smile that said he knew something that Hange didn’t. Erwin entered the carriage.  
“Come on, Mike. We're already late.”  
Hange groaned. So that was why Mike knew. Hange was wondering if the old bastards had actually got up to anything fun the night before. Probably not. They'd probably just stayed up late complaining and drinking. Which ought to invite other activities, but when one of the parties in question was Erwin, it wasn't likely.  
“His Majesty is ready.” Mike said into his earpiece.  
“We can't keep the people waiting any longer.” Erwin said with a bright smile. He’d been right, he definitely looked more alive than Hange did. Whatever, Hange thought. She looked fine. She’d brushed her hair and put on makeup and everything.   
The carriage started off, while the crowd sang the national anthem. Hange hummed along while waving at everyone. The parade was only part of the annual harvest celebrations, but, it being the capital, there wouldn’t be a lot of actual harvesting going on in the town, and so the parade was pretty crowded.   
There were probably thousands of people all around her, so Hange wasn’t sure how she noticed one little girl crying, but she did.   
She was a tiny little thing, with short, brown braids. Two of the children standing behind her were pulling on them.  
“Na-na, I don't like your braids.” the boy taunted with a grin. The girl swept her arm behind her head to knock his hand away.   
“Hey, thumb-sucker.” another girl teased.   
Hange narrowed her eyes. “Mike,” she said. “Stop the carriage.”  
Mike signalled for the carriage to stop, and as soon as it was still, Hange jumped down.  
“What… what's going on? Hange?” she heard Erwin asking. Hange continued walking towards the children, waving awkwardly at the rest of the crowd.  
“Hello, everybody.” she said to the large group of children.  
“Hello, Princess.” they answered in unison. Hange smiled at them all, and then moved to the little girl.  
“Hello. What's your name?” she asked.   
“Nifa.” she said, with big eyes.  
“And what are your names?” Hange asked, looking at the two kids who’d been teasing Nifa.  
“Samson.”  
“Leelu.”  
Hange nodded seriously. “Did I see you messing with Nifa?”  
The two kids shook their heads.  
“No!” Leelu shouted.   
“We were trying to make her feel better!” Samson continued.  
Nifa stuck her tongue out at the two other children. Hange supposed that she’d just misjudged the situation, but she was curious now. These kids obviously weren’t from the local school, since they weren’t wearing any uniform. She looked around for an adult that they might be with and upon spying one, asked her whether they were from a school.  
“No, they’re from Shigansina Orphanage, your highness.” she said. “We care for as many as possible.”  
Hange nodded, her eyes flicking to where a man was standing with a box of plastic crowns for the parade. “I see.” she turned back to Nifa. “Nifa? Would you like to be a princess today?”  
Nifa blinked and then shook her head. “I can't, I'm too little. Too kleine.”  
“Oh, no. Because I declare that anyone can be a princess today.” Nifa gasped.   
“Well, why don't we get you a tiara, and you can wave, and march in the parade with me?”  
“Really?” Nifa bounced up and down excitedly.   
“In fact, why don't you all take tiaras?”   
The man with the tiaras looked startled. “All? Give them all free tiaras?”  
“I'll take care of it later.” Hange assured him.   
Looking much relieved, he thanked her, and let the kids have at his wares.   
“Ich will ein blaues!” Nifa cried out.  
“I want a silver one!” Leelu shouted.   
As soon as she’d taken a blue crown, Nifa returned to Hange, who adjusted it so that it was sitting upright over her braids.  
“Ah, you look fantastic!”  
“Can boys be princesses too?!” Samson asked excitedly, already holding a purple crown.   
“Absolutely!” Hange smiled.   
Samson jammed the crown on crookedly, and then turned and posed at Leelu. “I look fabulous!” he declared.   
“You look like an idiot!” she countered. Nifa laughed at them both with Hange, who stepped back onto the cobbled street.  
“Alright!” she said, beaming at the kids. “Now, to be a princess, you have to believe that you are a princess, or a prince,”  
“Yeah!” Samson shouted.  
“You've got to walk the way you think a princess would walk. So, think tall, you gotta smile,” she laughed as all the kids stood up straighter and grinned. “And wave, and just have fun.” the children were all buzzing with excitement. “So are you ready?”  
“Ja!” “Yeah!” “Yes, ma’am!” came a chorus of young voices.   
Hange turned to Captain Jaeger. “Drumroll, please.” she called out.  
“Give the princess a drumroll!” he shouted to the band. A lively drumroll began, and the crowds cheered as Hange and the kids set off. Hange could see Erwin smiling from the carriage as the parade started up again.   
“Forward… march!”

* * *

  
Levi carefully watched this event with wide eyes. It was not what he had expected from her. Hange was loud, frequently angry and irrational. He hadn't expected her to also be the person to stop a parade to let orphans join in, holding their hands and beaming at them. He could hear his uncle next to him talking about political stunts, but Levi didn’t believe it. He saw the look on King Erwin’s face, and if they’d planned to bring the orphans into the parade beforehand, they would have been there at the start, with no need to stop the event.   
This was something that Hange had chosen to do, and it was beautiful, and brilliant.   
Levi watched her holding a little girl’s hand, chatting with her happily, and laughing. He knew that he was going to have to consider the very serious possibility that he was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I am certain they need no introduction, Samson and Leelu are OC's created by illustrious tumblr user drinkyourfuckingmilk.  
> My apologies to Grace for not including her levihan baby, Scrungo.


	11. Getting Turnt With The Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I only usually post chapters on Fridays, but I'm making an exception this week.

“We're still setting up the padding in the ballroom.” Armin said.

“Seriously? We need to be getting that stuff up faster, guys!” Hange told him and the two servants.

Someone cleared their throat behind her. Hange turned around to see Levi. She stood there staring at him for what seemed an impossible amount of time.

“Hello.” he said.

“Hello.” she said back.

He continued staring at her. 

“Well,” Armin interrupted. “This is awkward, so I’m just going to take Conny and Sasha and leave now.” Hange pinned Armin with a glare, but unfortunately, the damn kid was harder to freak out than he used to be, and just met her with an equally terrifying gaze before dropping it, grabbing the two servants and leaving her alone with Levi.

Which really wasn’t a situation she had wanted to be in.

Levi cleared his throat. “Um, congratulations.”

Hange narrowed her eyes. “On what?”

“The new orphanage.” Levi said. “I think it’s great.”

“Oh… thank you.”

“I’d be happy to help you with it, if you need.”

Hange stared at him. She had a hard time picturing the gruff, uptight young lord working with children. “Sure, I mean, it’s still a work in progress, but--”

“Whatever you need.” Levi nodded.

Just then a large burst of music burst out from the nearby ballroom. 

“What the hell?” Levi asked, once the noise had died down. 

Hange could feel her face warming. “I'm having a slumber party.” she admitted. “Sort of a belated birthday-bridal-shower-thing…”

“A little less formal than a ball.” Levi raised an eyebrow.

“That’s what I’m going for!” Hange smiled. 

“If Princess Historia is there, talk to her about the orphanage.” Levi advised. “It’d be right up her alley.”

“Oh, thanks.” Hange said, and smiled. Levi was staring at her, like she’d done something wrong, maybe. Perhaps she should have been more grateful for the tip. “Well,” she broke the odd silence, “I’d better go get ready.”

Levi nodded. “Of course.” 

Hange turned to leave, and reconsidered. “Um, you wanna come?”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “I thought it was a girls only event?”

“Well, Armin’s coming, and Nanaba, you wouldn’t be that out of place.” Hange smiled. “It’ll be fun.”

Levi shook his head. “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

“You’re going to miss out on pizza.”

“American style or Italian?”

“American, I think.”

Levi gave one of his rare sarcastic not-quite-a-smile smiles. “Not really missing out on much then.”

Hange faked a shocked and offended reaction. “Oh come on, you’re not the type to go for a nice greasy slice of Hawaiian?”

The disgusted expression on Levi’s face actually was hilarious. “Alright then, I’ll see you later.” she grinned.

“See you around.” Levi replied. Hange shook her head. She was never certain whether she was figuring him out at all or not. She then spied a familiar looking blonde.

“Ah, Nanaba!" Hange waved. “Getting ready for the party?” she asked. 

Nanaba looked surprised. “I thought it was just for the ladies.” they said.

“Why does everyone think that? No, Armin’s coming, and Conny and Marco, and a lot of the other guests aren’t girls. Come on, I want you on our team!” 

Nanaba smiled. “Oh, alright.” they said. “Sounds fun.”

“Whoo!” Hange shouted. “Let’s go!” she raced off into the ballroom and heard Nanaba laughing behind her.

“Just let me grab my gear.”

“And your pajamas!” Hange shouted.

“Ooh!” Nanaba called to her. “Now that _is_ a party!”

 

* * *

 

Hange stood up on the stairs in front of her guests and waved her arms to get their attention. “So I want thank you all very much for my fabulous bridal shower presents.” she hadn’t been sure what exactly she would receive for a royal bridal shower. Regular household items wouldn’t really apply. Instead she had received many gorgeous things from the royal guests, princes and princesses mostly, from all over the world, along with quite a few subjects from the capitol, and an extra surprise box of dental dams from the princesses of Marrya, Princess Historia and Princess Ymir. One of the princes had asked them why not condoms, and they’d just stared at him until he wilted. Armin had brought her the same birthday present he’d been making for her for years. This year, the painting of Bean depicted her cat eating another cat dressed as a soldier in the Sina army. Conny and Sasha had performed a marvellous rendition of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” and despite it’s being September, everyone had loved it.

“And now, what you’ve all been waiting for…” Hange grinned maniacally. “It's time for the first, and potentially last, maybe-annual INDOORS 3DMG QUIDDITCH!”

The teams were divided up randomly between the fairly small amount of guests who knew how to use 3DMG. Hange was pretty nervous about being in the position of chaser during the first game, since she was still learning. All the people who weren’t hanging near the ceiling and pillars coated in training foam, (don’t let the name deceive you, the stuff was firm and thick and hurt like hell to fly into.) were crowded on the dance floor, tossing the bludgers, the quaffle and the snitch upwards to the players.

During the first game, Hange was busily looking down, trying to figure out who had the quaffle, when she spied Erwin. 

“Nanaba, sub in for me!” she shouted, and zipped down to the floor. “Erwin!” Hange said. “Are you joining us for a game of quidditch?” 

“Hmm.” Erwin said. “No, I was just looking for Marco…” as he said that, Hange heard Marco scream as his hook slipped, leaving him crashing to the floor. Someone grabbed him by the arm, but the right side of the face still smacked into the ground. Hange winced, that was going to bruise. 

“Quite the party, Hange.” Erwin said. 

“Yeah. We're just having a little bit of fun.” Hange laughed as another person screamed, falling to the floor. Fortunately their fall was broken by the crowd of people better than Marco’s had been, and no one was injured. 

Erwin, surprisingly was smiling. “Quite the sport, quidditch. I’m not surprised that a team started up what with the gear. I think that Marie would have quite enjoyed it.”

“Yeah?” Hange smiled. Erwin nodded, still watching the players zip about, violently chucking bludgers at each other. 

“You want a turn?” Hange asked. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know the rules.” Erwin said. 

“You could be a goalie.” Hange suggested. 

Erwin appeared to consider this. “There’s three hoops.” 

Hange nodded enthusiastically.

Erwin hummed. “I suppose I could play for part of a game.” Hange, unable to stop herself from bouncing up and down, flung her arms around Erwin’s neck. 

“Wahoo!” she shouted. “Come on!!” she grabbed Erwin’s wrist. “You’re not in your pajamas, but that’s fine! Go get geared up right now!”

“Before I change my mind?”

“Exactly!” 

Hange left Erwin readjusting the belts of a 3DMG set that someone had handed him. Plenty of people had noticed that he was gearing up, and had started cheering excitedly. Armin, who’d been caught in the throng of mostly foreigners not playing the violent sport grabbed Hange’s arm.

“Is he really going to do this?” he said, looking mildly panicked. 

“Sure, why not?” Hange smiled.

“Well, it is a pretty violent sport, and um, he’s only got one arm is another thing, so…”

Hange frowned. “Eh, it’ll be fine.”

 

* * *

 

It was more or less fine. Erwin was quite a good goalie, until a particularly fast and complicated turn had him hurtling towards the floor. He didn’t actually _crash,_ per se, as he did catch himself a couple yards above the ground. He did, however, knock over some of the groundlings, and their team lost the game. He decided to sit out after that one, but Hange had no doubt that the event would live forever as one of their greatest adventures, and assured him as such.

 

* * *

 

“And now, to end our little show,” Hange said, standing on a chair. “If we all give his a shout-out, His Majesty may sing us a song.”

The crowd all began to cheer, while Erwin waved cautiously from his seat.

“Thank you, no. Kings rarely do karaoke.”

“Then it’ll be all the more exciting! Come on!”

Erwin glared at her, ever so slightly. 

“You should sing that song that you and Armin sang when I graduated university.”

Erwin shook his head. “No, absolutely not.”

Hange did her best to give him puppy-dog eyes. “Pleeease?”

“Zoë, we had music then!” Erwin said. 

“I could beatbox.” Mikasa said.

Hange blinked. “Do you know what song—“

“Yes, I know.” Mikasa said.

“Alright, come on up here!” Mikasa climbed up the stairs to the platform where Hange was standing. “Armin, you too! Come on Erwin!” Hange waved her arm at him as he stood reluctantly and the crowd burst into cheers. “Yeah, Erwin!” 

Erwin took the godmike from Hange with a slightly nervous smile. After all, singing the song in the back of Armin’s car as they drove through San Francisco was awfully different from singing it in front of all the young nobles and dignitaries who had come to Hange’s party, not to mention all his staff and subjects who were also there. But Hange knew he could do it. She grinned and raced back down the stairs to take a seat. 

Armin had come prepared with his violin. He began playing, and Mikasa started beatboxing. Armin nodded at Erwin and he brought the mike to his lips, taking a breath. 

“It’s poetry in motion.”

Hange immediately broke into a massive grin. 

“She turned her tender eye to me. As deep as any ocean. As sweet as any harmony. She blinded me with science.”

“She blinded me, with science!” Armin called out. There were a few scattered laughs and cheers from the crowd. 

“And failed me in biology.” Erwin sang. There was a bit of instrumental music before the next stanza where Erwin stood there, seeming very awkward indeed before singing again. “When I’m dancing close to her. 

“Blinding me with science!” Armin sang in a high-pitched voice. He played another few notes and repeated in a deeper voice, “Science!” Hange laughed.

“I can smell the chemicals.” Erwin sang. 

“Blinding me with science!”

This time it was Erwin who said the next line. “Science!” A few people cheered to help him on. “Science! It’s poetry in motion. And when she turned her eyes to me, as deep as any ocean, as sweet as any harmony.” Erwin finally stopped darting his eyes nervously around the room and looked at Hange. He couldn’t help but smile back. “She blinded me with science!” 

“She blinded me with science!”

“And failed me in geometry!” Erwin began to dance a little. Someone whistled from the back of the room, and rather than shying away from the attention, his dancing actually improved. Hange cheered and clapped with the rest of the crowd. She grinned broadly and laughed with everyone when Erwin began to shake his hips. All in all, she thought, an excellent party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, I liked working all the little nods to cannon in there, and the idea of 3DMG quidditch is fantastic to me.   
> Please see the next chapter for some unfortunate news.


	12. Boy's Whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's in loovee~

 “Boy, what in the Samhain are you saying?”

“Well, she's smart. Very smart.” Levi said. “And she really cares about Sina. She loves the people, she’s enthusiastic, thoughtful, she could really make significant differences, and she has the popularity and the means to do it. Maybe…” Levi took a deep breath. His uncle had never been one to swallow bad news easily. “Maybe we were wrong?”

Kenny stared at him, blinking. “Has someone slipped you some bad liquor, is that it?”

“She believes in Sina so much that she's convinced herself to marry someone that she knows she’ll never love.”

“I can't believe I’m hearing this. You want her to rule? After all the effort that we have put in, to end up with nothing?”

“It wouldn't be nothing. Sina would be in good hands, and she would be happy.” Levi winced as soon as he said it. He knew exactly how Kenny would hear that. 

“Ugh. You've fallen in love with her.”

“No!” Levi denied. “No, Uncle, all that I'm asking—“

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you listen.” Kenny cut him off. “What do you think will happen? That she will leave Moblit and marry you?” Levi winced. “I put in the effort to make you a king, not to have you marry a queen. I will not have it, sir.”

“I don’t think that’s really something you need to worry about. She’s made it quite clear that she does not feel the same for me.” Only Levi wasn’t sure that was true. She’d sent some mixed signals. On the one hand, she had definitely stated that she hated him. A lot. She’d also kissed him. It was confusing.

“Uncle, I just want you to stop trying to sabotage her. That's all.”

Kenny narrowed his eyes. Then he sighed. “All right. If that's what you really want.”

Levi was stunned. “Really?”

“Of course, sonny, of course. Go to her. Tell her that we surrender.”

It was suspicious. But Levi nodded, and thanked his uncle, instead of accusing him of suspicious behaviour. He left, intent on seeing Hange as soon as possible. He might not actually have a prayer of preventing her from hating him.

* * *

 

After the fourth time Hange nearly sliced someone’s face off with a sword, she decided that she’d done enough practicing for one day.

“Are you sure I didn't cut you anywhere?” she asked Moblit nervously.

“Of course you did. Look at his coat.” Armin said.

“No, no, Hange, it was like that before we started.” Mobilt assured her.

“You’re bleeding.” Armin pointed out.

Hange bit her lip. “I’m so sorry, Moblit.” The traditional dual-wield blades weren’t for the coronation ceremony, but they were something she would need to know how to use. Apparently. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied a small figure with neat black hair, and groaned. “Um, Armin, maybe you should take Moblit to get his arm patched up. I, I’ll stay here and um, keep practicing?”

Armin looked at her curiously, and Hange nodded towards Levi. Armin nodded and took Moblit by the non-injured arm.

“Come on, then, Mr. Berner, we’d better go darn your arm.”

As Armin and Moblit walked back to the palace, Hange waved at Levi. He walked over, grimacing, but it wasn’t an unusually bad grimace, just the same one he always seemed to wear.

“Would you like some help?” he asked.

“Oh, no, can’t you see, I’m doing _marvellously._ ” Hange said, gesturing with her sword and nearly dropping it.

“Woah,” Levi took a step back. “Easy there, Kylo.” Hange laughed. “Alright, so I think working on grip might be a good plan.”

“Huh?” 

Levi took the swords from her, and she notice that he was holding them upside down, so they pointed behind him instead of in front, as she’d been doing.

“Alright, so… um, shit, I’ve never actually tried to explain this technique. Um…”

“It looks pretty different from what I’ve seen the royal guards doing.”

Levi’s frown deepened. “Yeah, but it’s a lot more steady. I have more control over the blades this way, but a slightly smaller range of motion, since if I want to move them in front of me, I have to pull my arm across my chest, like this, see?” he demonstrated, and Hange nodded. “But then, it’s also easier to protect my back.”

“You say this like you’re actually going to fight someone.” Hange said. “They’re pretty much just ceremonial, right?”

“Well, yeah, they are.” Levi said, and handed her back the blades. “Alright, give it a go.”

Hange felt awkward holding the blades upside down, but they did seem less likely to wildly swing all over the place. She stepped up to the dummy, and wound up the way Levi had shown her, holding her left arm over her chest and her right arm out. She swung at the dummy, and to her horror, sliced completely through it in two different places. The dummy’s head rolled onto the ground, and its chest landed at Hange’s feet. She screamed a little and jumped back. 

“OH MY GOD, I _KILLED_ IT!” she shrieked. She looked at Levi in shock and found the little shit looking as if he might just burst out laughing.

“Well, that was a lot better.” he said. “Much more controlled.”

“I KILLED IT!”

“You _broke_ it, there’s a pretty big difference.”

Hange picked up the dummy’s head. “This is… maybe not the strategy I should be going for.”

“That’s fine” Levi said, moving away. Hange thought that he looked a little embarrassed. “I came to give you this.” he grabbed a large book from his bag handed it to her after she sheathed her blades. 

“A book?” Hange asked. “ _Ein, Einfürung in die… Biologie?”_ Hange looked up.

“Biology.” Levi explained. “I mean, it’s just an introductory textbook, so you probably know all the stuff in there, but you’d said you wanted to practice your German, so…”

“Thank you.” Hange said. She smiled at Levi with stars in her eyes, and for a second, she could have sworn that he was about to smile back. 

But then he cleared his throat. “I have to go.” he said. “I really only came back to pack my things. And, obviously, the uh, the book. The sword lesson wasn’t really expected.”

“It was appreciated.” Hange said. “You’re leaving?”

“I think it's time I bowed out gracefully.” he admitted. “Don't you?”

Hange felt her throat grow tight, which was all wrong. He was right, he should leave, and she’d win. But she didn’t want him to go. But she swallowed, because she knew for sure that Levi wouldn’t at all appreciate her crying on him. She smiled, and reached out to shake his hand.

“Goodbye.” she said.

He took her hand. “Goodbye.” He didn’t let go of her hand. “Hange…” he said slowly. “Could I see you one more time before I go?”

She wanted to say yes, desperately she wanted to say yes. “Levi…” she sighed. “I'm watched like a hawk.”

“I'll find a way.” he said. “If I may?”

“Yeah?” Hange asked. 

“Yeah.” 

Hange bit her lip. This was a bad idea, she thought. A really stupid, dangerous, terrible idea.

“Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the description.  
> Okay, the news that I mentioned in the last notes is actually the next chapter, sorry.


	13. I'm Sorry

Due to personal issues, I'm afraid that I am going to be abandoning this fic. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, I know how annoying and disappointing abandoned fics are, but I will publish the rest of what I have written. I may or may not continue to write Levihan fanfiction, I really can't be sure right now. I am so grateful for the support of everyone who gave kudos and commented on this, and all the fanfic that I've written. Thank you so much.

If anyone would like to continue this AU, I give them my full support with that. I love this movie, and I love these characters.

I'd like to give a particular apology to the Levihan Skype group, the one started by okamiwolven that I've been in for the last several months. ...I still don't know what I'm going to say to you all aside from thanking you so much for your friendship and advice. I'd like to thank Vivian and Emma especially for their help with this fic.

Well, without further ado, here is what I have. It's not much, I'm afraid, but I did keep very close to the original film, so if anyone is reading this without having seen the movie, I would encourage you to go there for the rest of the plot. Again, thank you for your support. Farewell. <3

 

* * *

 

Erwin and Mike dance and talk. Nothing much comes of it.

\- Hi, Armin.

\- May we announce you?

“I can announce myself. Armin Arlert! Hange, look out your window!”

\- Why? What's going on?

"Just look out your window.  Prince Charming is throwing pebbles!”

“What?”

“Well, more like Grumpy the dwarf, but still! Go look!”

Hange grabbed her glasses from her bedside table drawer and rushed to the window. She looked down into the garden. “Levi?!” she hissed. “Levi, what are you doing?”

“Come down here!” he called up.

“What?!”

“Climb down the vine.”

Hange squinted at the man outside of her window. “If this is your best attempt at flirting, I think you should know it’s terrible.”

“Oh, shut up!” Levi glowered. Then he shifted awkwardly and said “But actually do come down.”

Hanji narrowed her eyes. “No.” she said, and ducked her head back into the room.

“So what does he want?” Armin asked excitedly.

“He wants me to climb down the vine.”

“Well, do you want to?

“...Yes.”

“So go!”

“Are you insane?!”

“Hanji, come on!” Armin groaned. “You're getting married in less than a month. Do you want a regular bachelorette party with dozens of screaming girls, or do you want a stroll in the moonlight with your weird, strange little man?"

> _ do I keep the song?? meh _

(grunts of pain)

“Are you okay?” Hange whispered.

“No, I’m Levi.”

Hange lauged. “That was such a shitty fucking dad joke.”

“King Erwin must be rubbing off on me.” Levi wheezed. “Ugh, get off me, you weigh a ton.”

they ride off into the sunset. (*darkness. whatever)  end of chapter 13

 

* * *

 

 

Sina’s capital was quiet at night. The streets were empty, and the stars shone like Hange had never seen them. She followed Levi on horseback over the cobblestones, taking a left into the woods. They were heading to the lake, she realised. It was beautiful, with thin rivers rippling through the mountains like veins, pouring down in elegant waterfalls. Levi stopped his horse by a tree near the water and Hange pulled up beside him.

“This is gorgeous.” she said.

 

“I didn’t know you wear glasses.” Levi said.

“Well, usually I wear contacts, but I was about to go to bed when you started assaulting my window with pebbles like some twenty-first century Romeo.” Hanji said. “So I just grabbed these.”

“They look dumb.” Levi said.

“You look dumb.” Hanji argued.

 

“Tell me something about yourself, I feel like I barely know anything about you.”

“You know as much about me as I do about you.”

“No!”

“Yeah, just what you hear from other people.”

Hanji smirked. “Alright, fair point. But you’re a lot more reserved than I am.”

“Really? I thought I was being completely open.”

“Tell me!” Hange said, shaking his arm.

“For fuck’s sake, you’re persistent. Fine, I’ll tell you the dirt on me, if you go first. Deal?”

“Hmmm… deal.” Hange said. “One time when I was in eh… sixth grade, I think, I went to DC over March break and I almost got arrested for trying to tear down the Pentagon.”

The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched, as if he was about to laugh. “And how exactly were you going about that?”

“I was hacking at it with a shovel.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“No,” Hange grinned, shaking her head. “But I was only like, eleven, so they didn’t press any charges.”

“That’s spectacular.”

 

“Your turn.”

“Alright, shitty glasses.”

“Shitty glasses?!” Hange would have argued further, but she saw the look on his face. It was different from the usual constipated glower. He seemed more vulnerable, and remorseful. “About two years ago, I was the driver in a car accident in Germany. I was there visiting my boyfriend and his sister.” Levi looked at Hange, probably for a reaction to the fact that he’d had a boyfriend. Hange just nodded. Despite their enforcing this ridiculous marriage law, Sina was a fairly progressive country. Possibly that was due to Erwin’s influence. There were lots of members of staff and the royal guard who were openly LGBTQA+, as well. Hange often smiled when she thought about how the country would be having a pansexual queen right after a bisexual king.

“Well,” Levi continued. “It was around Christmas, so I was there for that, and my birthday or whatever. We went out drinking. Well, they went drinking, and I was the designated driver.”

“On your birthday?” Hange asked.

“I don’t get drunk easily, and I don’t really want to.” he explained. Then he swallowed hard as he continued. “But they both got fairly drunk, and I wanted to get them home before they got any worse. We got in the car…” he trailed off for a moment. “Late December, at night, in the mountains. Under the circumstances, they say it wasn’t my fault.” his voice wavered. “But if I had gone slower, if I’d waited for the storm to blow over, if I’d just fucking told them that I didn’t want to go out that night…” There was a faraway look in Levi’s eyes. Hange could tell that he was remembering more about that night than he wanted to. “She was fifteen years old.” he whispered.    

“Let’s dance!” Hange declared, jumping to her feet. She wanted to change the subject. She wanted that look off his face.

“What?” he blinked, coming groggily out of the too vivid memory.

“I haven't danced with you since my birthday.” Hange reminded him.

“So?”            

Hange reached a hand towards Levi. “So you’re a good dancer.”

“I bet you just want to trample my feet some more, don’t you, four eyes?” Levi glowered, but he took her hand. Hange laughed.

“Just what do you have against my glasses?”

“Just what do you have against my feet?”

did not complete chapter 14 but there we are that's all I got

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning.”

“Fuck the morning.” Levi groaned. He looked at Hange with one eye open.

“Helloo.”

“You look horrible.”

Hange snorted with a short laugh. “We stayed out all night.”

“Yes, we did.”

Hange sat bolt uprigt and gasped. “We stayed out all night!” 

then there's the guy in the boat and he's a reporter, we remember this from the movie, yes yes, Moblit finds out. They kiss and they're just like "Damn, we are not in love at ALL." but they're gonna get married anyways v sad ikr

 

* * *

 

 

So then it's the day of the wedding.

Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie are Paolo and his assistants, I had nothing written for the scene, but I thought the idea was hysterical. 

Levi goes to stop the wedding. 

 

* * *

 

 

Hange decides not to get married. I love this scene in the movie. (I love all the scenes in the movie lmao)

 

* * *

 

 

Levi low-key professes his love for Hange in front of literally the entire world. Kenny tells him that he'd look lovely on a postage stamp. 

Erwin and Mike get hitched. 

 

* * *

 

 

Right then. Chapter 19 was supposed to be the last one. :/ 

“So what do you say, Bean? Think I'll make a good queen?” 

Bean meowed.

“He’s right.” a voice came from around the corner. Hange smiled when she saw that it belonged to Levi. “If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with Your Highness.”

 

What is your dilemma, young man?

 

You are, in fact. I'm in love with the queen-to-be. And I'm inquiring if she loves me too.

 

Do you have a chicken for my table?

 

No. No, my kitchen is out of chickens.

 

Ah.

 

Hange.

They kiss?? I guess!?

 

Hange crashes through that coloured paper and it would have been amazing. Then she's coronated. The end. 

The end. 

Thank you all. I am sorry to end it like this. I would have loved to beautifully portrayed the coronation, and her speech at the wedding, but... well. Personal stuff. :/ thank you for your understanding. 

Long live the queen! Viva la Levihan lol


End file.
